“Why do you stay in prison when the door is wide open?”
You see, the first place that we are imprisoned in is in our own mind. Yes, things happen in life that can drastically alter the course of life, but even in these instances, we still have a choice to remain a victim of our circumstances, or whether we rise regardless of our challenges and rebuild our lives powerfully. That choice is, and always will be yours, and no situation or circumstance will be able to take that away from you.
I hear many stories of people who live their lives feeling a victim of what has happened too them, without fully realising that it is a choice that they (subconsciously) make to stay there. I know this, because I was very much there at one stage of my life, and I fiercely believed that it I couldn’t do anything to change my situation. Why? Because that belief was a story that I told myself over and over again, until I believed it with absolute faith.
Now, for me, it wasn’t until I started my self-development journey many years ago, did I start to question this belief that I had been carrying around and acting out of for some time. I discovered that my identity was based on a young girl who suffered two major brain injuries, that left me with a multitude of issues and had a devastating effect on my childhood. I had told myself that my life was always going to be in a state of suffering. And guess what? It was.
It would stay that way, until I consciously chose something different. But choosing something different meant taking my identity mask off. Easier said than done, but far from impossible.
This is where self-talk comes in.
What we continually tell ourselves, is how our reality is shaped
If you tell yourself over and over again that life sucks because you had a brain injury, and it has ruined your life – well guess what? That is exactly how life is going to be for you. The same can be said for the opposing side too.
If you tell yourself over and over again that you are so thankful to still be here, despite all that you have been through. That life is an extraordinary gift and you are going to live your best life regardless of any challenges that you are faced with – watch how your life transforms. You may still have all of your issues, but they will not control you. They will simply be a part of your journey!
As humans, we have the ability to choose how the world shows up for us.
Your world can either imprison you, or you can walk free and be able to accept and overcome any challenges that comes your way. Now, I am in no way saying that the minute you choose to walk the path of life peacefully, it’ll all be sunshine, rainbows and no issues. No! Shit is still going to happen! But depending on what thoughts you feed yourself when things do go wrong, will depend on whether you suffer or you learn from those experiences.
Our inner world is a direct reflection of our outer world.
Think of your mind as a garden – Just as seeds grow, so do your thoughts. If you do not water your garden and give it proper care, your seedlings will die and be replaced with weeds. The same goes for your mind – the positive thoughts you planted will start to wilt when not tended to, and the thoughts that we do not want are left to grow wildly, just like weeds.
By learning to nurture your inner world, you start noticing a shift in your outer world. Stuff will still happen, but the effect that it has on you changes.
Be mindful of the language that you use.
The language that we use both internally and externally, colours our experience of ourselves and the word around us. If we speak to ourselves in a negative way, it erodes our self-worth and confidence. If we speak to ourselves positively, it boosts our self-worth and self-confidence.
Ever had the experience of telling yourself “I can’t handle this”? Well, you most likely can’t. Why? Because our subconscious mind tends to believe the thoughts it hears. We, as humans, can limit our abilities simply by telling ourselves that we “can’t”, or that “this is too hard”. The more we tell ourselves these things, the more we believe them and what happens from this space is that we simply stop trying, which in turn feeds into that belief that we can’t. It’s a vicious cycle.
Why not consciously tell yourself that “I can?” By telling ourselves that what we want is possible, it opens up new neural pathways and turns our creative side on to make those very things a reality.
The best part is, that it is absolutely possible to change how we speak to ourselves with conscious practice.
Don’t forget – Your self-talk has the power to shape your reality, to be either one of suffering or one of growth and power! The best part is that you get to choose…