So many of us avoid thinking or even talking about it, but it is always there. It is the only real thing that we are certainly guaranteed of in this life – Death.
Along with facing my own death (again) at the start of 2017, death appeared for me again just before Christmas of the same year, this time was different though – It wasn’t my death…It was my mothers.
The woman who bore me life and taught me an extraordinary amount about the world, was gone. Just like that, her flame was extinguished, plunging me into a deep space of grieving.
I surrendered to the waves of grief, feeling into each surge fully. I wasn’t interested in changing my experience, but simply being with it exactly how it showed up, before gently letting go when I was ready.
Facing my own mortality and then the death of someone close to my heart, really reaffirmed my belief that whilst we don’t get to choose what happens to us (to a large degree), we certainly get to choose how we respond.
I remember so vividly, going down to sit by the ocean 20 minutes after I learnt of her passing, the light of a super-moon illuminating the waves as they danced across the shore. My whole body ached with equal amounts of heartbreak and gratitude. As I sat there, I kept saying ‘thank you!’, over and over again. The gratitude that I felt for my mother in this moment was so raw and powerful. A moment that changed everything…
It has been a few short months since she has passed, and whilst that grief is still there, it has largely transformed into a powerful burning question – ‘What am I doing with the time that I have left here?’
I look around, and see so many living their lives like it’s never going to end. Yet so many final breaths are filled with the heavy air of disappointment, and then, just like that, its over.
Time is the most precious thing we get, and the moment that we truly realise this – everything changes.
I have long had a fascination with what happens when someone is given a few weeks or months to live – they almost instantly stop worrying about all the insignificant shit, because that is what it is, insignificant.
Finally, they realise the importance of time… After all, time is all we have!
Let me ask you a question – “If you were to learn that you only have a short amount of time left, would you be happy with how you are currently spending your time?”
The truth is, none of us know how much time we have. But we all get to choose how we spend that time!
With Love and Gratitude,