It’s not all sunshine and rainbows!

I am a hugely positive person, but don’t think for a minute that I don’t have my low days. I do! Today is one of those days. I am 2 days post surgery to try and rectify the scaring that I have in my trachea from being intubated. This was an issue from my original intubation in 1996 when I had my first brain injury (TBI). I have been intubated a number of times, the most recent being from my third brain haemorrhage in January 2017. This recent intubation resulted in further damage to my trachea, as they weren’t aware that my trachea is considerably smaller than the average adult due to my past history – a condition called subglottic tracheal stenosis. So here I am, feeling rather ordinary and a little sorry for myself. You see, there will always be situations/ circumstances that happen in life that can get us feeling down. That’s life – It’s going to happen! There is nothing wrong with having a shitty day or week…Just don’t unpack and live there! So what do I do when these days or weeks strike?  I accept and acknowledge that life isn’t always happy and amazing! I tell myself something along the lines of – ‘I’m having a bad day, and that’s okay. It’s just a feeling that will pass’. We can be flooded by the notion that we should be happy all the time. It’s utter BS! Sometimes life can be really shitty, and there is nothing wrong with that. After all, you are human. Like anything in life, bad days come and they go. I often think of the ocean when I describe emotions. Like the ocean, some days are calm, gentle and fun, while other days they are turbulent, frightening and unsettling. Learning to ride the waves through … More

No Matter What, I’ve Got This!

“Not everyone can be as positive and grateful after a brain injury as you”. I have heard this statement, or something to the same effect countless times over the years. But let me tell you, it hasn’t all been sunshine and rainbows. After my first brain injury in 1996, life was incredibly difficult. Nothing came easy! I was left with complete right side paralysis, a serious speech impediment, very poor coordination, epilepsy, and a dodgy memory just to name a few in a long list of issues. The icing on the cake came a few short months after – a  second brain haemorrhage.  All of that hard work unravelled faster than a Learjet darting across the sky. There I was again, stripped bare. I hit rock bottom! For years on end, I struggled through the gruelling hours spent in rehabilitation. My childhood a blur of appointments from one specialist to another, surgeries and hours upon hours spent working on all the issues every week. It was relentless and unforgiving to say the least. I struggled. I fell. I fought. I cried. I got angry. I got frustrated. I wished it was different. I wanted to give up….But I didn’t! I was not going to let my brain injury, or any other life struggle beat me. That, I was sure of. I had made up my mind! You see, as humans, we have this extraordinary ability to choose one thought over another. So, I chose to tell myself that ‘no matter what, I’ve got this!’ I said it over and over again, in a million different ways. The more I said it, the more I believed it. The more I believed it, the more my life transformed! No, it wasn’t a quick overnight ‘wham, bam, thank you ma’am’ kind of fix. It took … More